Hope through Loss

Loss of loved ones is a hard but inevitable part of life. Despite the heartbreak, there is hope offered, and attainable, through the promises of Jesus Christ that can help us navigate that difficult journey.

Transcript

Today I’m doing this podcast with a heavy heart.  Our son in law Austin lost his dad a week ago, and his funeral was yesterday  He’s been fighting Cancer for about 5 years, and despite his strength, sadly he lost that battle.  I was humbled to be asked to be there to zone his feet when he began to transition and I forget the sacredness of that space.  It’s been on my mind almost constantly since then.  It’s holy ground to say the least. 

My whole goal with this podcast is to uplift, encourage and support others, But I know that sometimes the positive can be really hard to hear when dealing with loss.  Today, I’d just like to focus on the last of the three goals of this podcast, which is to support and mourn with those that mourn. 

In the Deseret Bookshelf ‘s original come follow me podcast called Sunday on Monday, last week, the Host Tammy Uzelac Hall, had a guest named JoLeene Watabe and she shared her thoughts on the wrestle that Jacob had with God.  In doing so, She also turned to the scriptural account of Enos’s wrestle with God before he received a remission of his sins.  That’s what she kind of felt had happened to her.  After She lost her husband she felt like she had a wrestle with the Lord, and explained having regular feelings of discouragement, confusion, frustration, and anger.  and in the end, she felt like she needed to repent and forgive, herself, God and others for her life being hard.  She said,. “It was nobody’s fault, that’s life, right, it’s part of the plan, that we’re going to have some hard trials and some hard things”.

Tami then asked the following question “so how do we let God prevail when life can be so hard, and JoLeene again through the wisdom that only comes with experience, quoted a scripture she found in Eccliastias 7:14 a translation that I also noted.  In doing so I need to reference 

The latest updates and ammendments to the official church handbook, it states in Chapter 38 “Other editions of the Bible may be useful for personal or academic study”
 The other edition that sometimes feels like it’s shining new understanding on certain scriptures for me has been the  NIV or New International Version of the bible.  Ecclesiastes 7:14, was the translation this guest JoLeene quoted, it reads:  When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. 

This seems so obvious, we know that an important part of the plan is there is opposition in all things, but I think we sometimes forget that when things feel so wrong, that there’s really nothing wrong with God’s plan. 

I think sometimes when we are sad, our immediate thinking leans toward, Oh this is a horrible feeling, I don’t like it, I need to fix it or get away from it or do something different that will create a different experience for me.  Remember my episode about buffering “Just feel the feelings?”

And when we lose a loved one, those feelings are compounded exponentially.  we may feel so completely swallowed up by grief and despair that our thoughts keep circling around the inevitable pain that accompanies a broken heart like a raven to a carcass. Thoughts like this deep fatige, (the one that crying and emotions can cause) doesn’t’ end.  And the overwhelming thoughts that this world may never feel right again, thoughts that sometimes resemble offense, that life has the nerve to go on unaffected by so many around us.  And we can’t summon the will to see or feel anything outside of that hurt, 

Through all the sadness, lonliness, and grief, There is one word that cuts through the heartbreak and that word is hope.  There is always hope, even if you can’t feel it now, and wonder truly if you’ll ever be able to reach out and grab it’s lifeline.  As long as you seek it, you will have it’s company once again.

Hope is a promise to those who turn in faith to their Savior Jesus Christ through the difficulties and trials of life.

There is a wonderful article on ComeUntoChrist.org called How can I cope with the loss of a loved one, and for anyone who needs the guiding light of hope, I highly recommend you read it! I want to quote just the last paragraph. 

“Happiness is God’s very purpose for your life. Our joy won’t be constant, but “God shall wipe away all tears from [your] eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
The pain of grief is real—but so is the peace that comes from God. If you are coping with the loss of a loved one, surround yourself with every resource for support and peace. Through prayer, scripture study, and the support of loved ones, you can find real hope and comfort”.


We all experience loss at some point in our lives, sadly, we don’t get out of this life alive.  But Great comfort is drawn from the strength of others during those heart wrenching times.  

AT the funeral services yesterday, all the grandchildren sang the country song “Angels Among Us” and through the angelic voices of those little ones, the spirit confirmed that to be very true.  Our oldest granddaughter was in that small group, and I’ll never forget, as long as I live, her brave face as she first sang through the tears, and then finished the song crying openly.  It literally broke my heart, but reminded me ever so poignantly that there are in fact angels around us.  

I absolutely loved something Elder Richard G. Scott said:”  Relationships can be strengthened through the veil with people we know and love. That is done by our determined effort to continually do what is right. We can strengthen our relationship with the departed individual we love by recognizing that the separation is temporary and that covenants made in the temple are eternal. When consistently obeyed, such covenants assure the eternal realization of the promises inherent in them”. 

People say time heals all wounds, in my 10 years of hospice work, and many many hours of required bereavement training during those years, there’s one thing I’ve learned, You’ll probably never get over the loss or your loved one, you’ll will just learn to live with it.  You’ll heal to a degree and then begin to build a new normal around the great loss you’ve experienced.  You will one day begin to feel whole again, but you’ll likely never ever be the same.  Believe it now, or not, but you will be better.  As long as we don’t let the bad things that happen to us do bad things to us, we will grow stronger, more compassionate and more grateful on the other side of grief. 

Following the Savior will not remove all of your trials,” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught. “However, it will remove the barriers between you and the help your Heavenly Father wants to give you. God will be with you” That was from the Ensign November 2017 article A Yearning for Home.


When we lovingly encircle those deep in the trenches of grief and support them, we can be the angels around them on this side of the veil. 

There was a BYU devotional on August 18, 2010 called “What Is This Thing That Men Call Death? Latter-day Saint Teachings About the Spirit World” by Brent L. Top and I read it and re-read it and re-read it once more.  I learned things in that message that I’d never heard before and I strongly encourage anyone who’s grieving the loss of a loved one to look it up and do the same, I’ll have it in my transcriptions on mannaormeatloaf.buzzsprout.com, but one of the most comforting quotes I read came from 
Elder Neal A. Maxwell, who taught: “On the other side of the veil, there are perhaps seventy billion people.  They need the same gospel, and releases occur here to aid the Lord’s wok there.  Each release of a righteous individual from this life is also a call to new labors.  Those who have true hope understand this.  Therefore, though we miss the departed righteous so much here, hundreds may feel their touch there.  One day, those hundreds will thank the bereaved for gracefully forgoing the extended association with choice individuals here, in order that they could help hundreds there.  In God’s ecology, talent and love are never wasted.  The hopeful understand this too”. 

My hope for any of you coping with loss is that you’ll feel the loving assurances of those who have passed on, and the strong arms of service and support from those angels among you on this side of the veil.  That you will hold tight to the hope that is promised from our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ, and His infinite atoning sacrifice, that also promises life after death with our loved ones.  

I know His promises are sure, that His grace can strengthen us when we don’t feel the least strong, and that He can help us find our way through the excruciating difficulties of life, when we turn to Him for that strength.  For He has promised “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up”.
Doctrine & Covenants 84:88