
Manna or Meatloaf
Manna or Meatloaf
I Am, I Really Am!
I am, really I am!
So let’s talk about my hair. If you know you know. But for those of you who don’t, I have, well, let's just say to call it crazy hair might be an understatement. It’s really thin and fine, like a newborn baby’s chicken fuzz. Now to see me, you may not believe me, but I’ve learned the skill of using a lot of products to whip it into submission over the years. It literally has a life of its own.
On our Stake’s pioneer Trek, I had challengers daily trying to dethrone my title of best/worst hair, all to no avail. The votes were taken, and no one, I mean – NO ONE could remove my crown. My hair can be sculpted into a modernistic rendition that would leave artists in awe, It can dance, no really, it’s a great conversation piece, if you don’t believe me, catch me first thing in the morning following a hot tub, or a lake Powell night. Best of all, I literally had a wild bird land in it thinking it was a nest. People that is no lie, we were at Flaming Gorge with our friends the Rhoades, and we somehow got a picture of it. True story!
Now that you have the backstory, you’ll get it when I tell you the story that took place one morning, when our adorable 5 yr old granddaughter Ruby informed me with dismay, that my hair was crazy again.
Just the night before, She stood resolutely on my vanity chair in my bathroom and asked why my hair was always so crazy. I tried to explain, and finally told her she could just help me by brushing it out, and she did. She took painstaking efforts to make it look absolutely lovely, but then nighttime and bedtime overtook us and the crazy hair fairy found me yet again.
The next morning, When she saw that all her styling efforts had gone out the window, she just shook her head and said with sheer resignation, “Nana, your hair is so messy AGAIN! You just can’t keep it under control can you?”
This made me laugh as but it also made me think thought about this conversation, later, when I also felt like my attitude, my emotions, my eating, and my house was messy yet again, and I just couldn’t keep it all under control.
I totally buy into the 50/50 rule that my life coach Jody Moore teaches. Half the time we’ll be awesome and have it all together, and the other half of the time, we’ll be a big ole mess. And that’s just part of being a Human.
The Dalai Lama was known for saying. “We are human beings, not human doings” I love that thought, that we should care more about the people we’re being, and becoming than the endless things we’re trying to do. I realize that sometimes the two go hand in hand, but on days, when I’m so busy I can’t come up for air, and I’m still not doing nearly enough, I feel like a whimpering child during my night prayers, saying sorry I didn’t do better, again, But I am trying. I AM, I really Am, And I am willing to try again tomorrow, it will probably be another not-so-perfect attempt, But I AM TRYING!
Am I the only one that feels that way? I think we’re all trying. We’re all doing the best we can, right?
I love the talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Be Ye Therefore Perfect Eventually, and I’d like to read a small portion of it here:
“My brothers and sisters, except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing, so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call “toxic perfectionism.”12 We should avoid that latter excessive expectation of ourselves and of others and, I might add, of those who are called to serve in the Church—which for Latter-day Saints means everyone, for we are all called to serve somewhere.
In that regard, Leo Tolstoy wrote once of a priest who was criticized by one of his congregants for not living as resolutely as he should, the critic concluding that the principles the erring preacher taught must therefore also be erroneous.
In response to that criticism, the priest says: “Look at my life now and compare it to my former life. You will see that I am trying to live out the truth I proclaim.” Unable to live up to the high ideals he taught, the priest admits he has failed. But he cries:
“Attack me, [if you wish,] I do this myself, but [don’t] attack … the path I follow. … If I know the way home [but] am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way simply because I am staggering from side to side?
“… Do not gleefully shout, ‘Look at him! … There he is crawling into a bog!’ No, do not gloat, but give … your help [to anyone trying to walk the road back to God.]”13
Brothers and sisters, (Elder Holland continues) every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human".
Another word for trying is striving, but Webster's dictionary shed some light on the difference when I read that to try is to make an attempt to do something while to strive is to make great efforts, struggle or fight vigorously for something. It makes me want to change my verbiage from I AM Trying, To I Am Striving.
Don’t you love how our temple interview questions have changed to include the word strive? That’s right, 2 of them actually. Do you strive to be honest in all that you do? It used to say are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen? I think that significant, yet subtle change confirms what we’ve heard, that the Lord loves effort
Melanie W. Brown is a presenter for Time out for Women this year, and she introduced the take on a word that I absolutely loved. She Said that the word striving is a mixture of struggling, trying, and surviving, and I love that!
And in D&C 46:9 we read, in reference to obedience a phrase that explains where I find myself sitting a lot of the time. For verily I say unto you, they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do;
Don’t you love that? Blessings for those who keep the commandments and those that seeketh so to do.
When I liken the scriptures unto myself. I know without a doubt, that I am one that seeks so to do. I may not always get it right, but I AM striving!
One of my favorite Come Follow Me podcasts, Sunday on Monday episode 36 "The Fear of The Lord, we were with Tamy Uzelac Hall and her guests, and they were discussing how difficult it becomes when we believe we need to be perfect covenant keepers. Tami said “When you ask yourself the questions are you mourning with those who mourn, are you comforting those who stand in need of comfort? can I answer I am, or does it sound more like….I think I am, I hope I am".
We all recognize the name "I am" as one of the names of Christ. Clear back at the beginning of the Old Testament, when God was talking to Moses and Moses asks “Whom shall I tell the people has sent me”. And God responded, in Exodus 3: 14,
14 And God said unto Moses, I Am that I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.
And The Name Jehova, who Jesus Christ Himself declared He was, The God of the New Testament literally means “I AM”
I also learned from the same podcast, that In Hebrew the name I am is “I will become who I will become”. Isn’t that interesting that when we say something like I AM trying, or I am Striving, by using one of Christ’s names, I AM, we are almost commiting ourselves to becoming who the Lord would have us be by trying, by striving. I think that’s profound!!!
So knowing that, do you think there’s a more reverent and intentional way to use this powerful name, or title of God, in our own lives?
I don’t think anyone will disagree.. There is power in the words we choose. If you don’t believe me, revisit episode 16th of this podcast titled Word.
James 3:2-10 we’re taught that the words that proceedeth out of our mouths will either provide blessings or cursings. Job exclaimed, “How forcible are right words!” (Job 6:25) And in Proverbs we read, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).
The Savior underscored the care we should take in choosing our words when he warned, “I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36). As the Savior explained: “…those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart…” (Matthew 15:18)
So when was the last time you said to yourself or someone else,
I am so weak, I’m so tired
I am so unhealthy, unhappy, undeserving, unworthy,
I am so fat, ugly, awful, I don’t like that list.
The words we speak to ourselves are sometimes the words we believe the most, because our psyche recognizes our own voice, whether spoken or in thought. Again, don’t believe me, listen to my episode following word called, Hey you, it’s me. There are scientific research studies on what I just said that are worth digging into.
How different does it feel to say
I am strong
I am capable
I am healthy I am happy I am terrific.
I am deserving
I am worthy, beautiful, fabulous, and magnificent.
I am a child of God.
When I think of the Savior referring to Himself with this term, I AM I hear all the good I am’s. He is capable, He is a promise keeper, He is my Savior, and He is the way.
I am going to make a concentrated effort this week to using the positive affirmations created by I Am phrases that help me follow my Savior’s example, and positively reinforce who I believe God wants me to become. Will you join me?
Guess what? My Hair is still a mess, and at least half the time so am I. So, little Ruby, I hope you’re not too disappointed to know that sometimes it seems your Nana really can’t keep it all under control.
But Someone I know and love and trust said I Am the Bread of Life, so I will never go hungry as long a I turn to Him
I am the light of the world, so I’ll never walk alone in the dark.
I am the vine so that when I abideth in Him I can bring forth fruit
I am the Good Shepard. He knows me, takes care of and leads me to green pastures.
This has been a very enlightening and encouraging episode for me to put together. And I want to thank you for joining me. I hope it’s helped and encouraged you in some way too.
So, until next time, have a wonderful week. me and my crazy hair are signing off.