Make your Mark

How do you leave your mark on the world, or on the lives of those you love? 21-second moments, living the dash, and realizing that your fingerprints will never fade from a life you've touched, can head your intentions in the right direction.

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Making your mark

 Merry, Christmas, Happy New Year, and Valentine's Day…Yay ya,  it’s been a hot minute, since I’ve been here.  But I do hope your New Year is panning out to be as incredible as you hoped it would be. 

 Although my new year’s wishes to you are a tad belated. You better believe I found myself back on January 1st, curled up in my favorite comfy couch, buried in my coziest blanket in front of my big picture window with notebook and pen in hand, contemplating how I could take what I learned in 2022, and use it to make 2023 even better.  How I could use better habits to help me reach my goals and help and serve others.       

 I think each of us has a similar, deep-seated desire to make a difference, to leave a legacy, and make a mark in the world around us.  We have at our core the desire to leave something somewhere that will long outlast us.  Something that will go on, long after we’re gone.   

 That’s why people take pictures, write in journals, build structures, and statues, and invest time and energy in service, in caring for others, and in children.

That’s why we have traditions that are passed down from generation to generation, and why Family History holds such a special place in our hearts and our culture.  Those stories are the things that go on and on and on, right? The truth is, good or bad, we will leave a mark.  So What kind of mark will it be?

 A talk in our church meetings one Sunday several months ago, made me stop and think about the story I’m leaving behind.  What is my contribution, my legacy, and how am I making a mark and leaving it with the world?

 I think those are great questions for each of us to ask ourselves and probably on the regular.  

 So Let me share the message that got my wheels moving in this direction, and I do so with permission from an amazingly good writer, and an even better human, young Brooke Stevenson.  She’ll always be Brookie to me, and probably half our ward, anyway, Her dad, shared her college paper, that became his High Council talk. 

 She wrote:  “The average 440-yard American Quarter Horse race lasts approximately 21 seconds.   Just 21 seconds.  These fleeting moments define that racehorse and its competition.  Will they stumble out of the gate and never be in contention?  Will they lead the whole way but narrowly be defeated in the last strides?  Or do they cross the wire first, allowing their owners, trainers, and jockeys to all ride upon the backs of victory?  These 21 seconds, while brief and unpredictable, define how we view our racehorses, their abilities, and the futures we give both them and ourselves.

From a young age, my father taught me the importance of preparing well for my life’s 21-second moments—both on and off the track.  I spent hours chasing victories one sweat-drenched day at a time, caring for our racehorses by his side.  I was obsessed with accomplishing a dream that took our spindly-legged foals to the grandest winner’s circles, hoisting the sport’s most coveted trophies.  

             In 2011, I had the opportunity to realize this dream during the annual running of the Champion of Champions with Sparky, our homebred gelding.  The night leading up to the race proved to be defining for my younger self.  In those anxiety-ridden moments sitting amongst the sport’s elite, I found my dreams faltering due to comparison.  Sparky came from our family farm, which consisted of two mares, while his competition came from the most exemplary breeding programs in the world.  Atop that, Sparky had yet to defeat any of the major contenders in the race.  He was the forgotten longshot of the night, and I feared what would come of his performance.

If you look up the charts, Sparky didn’t win that night.  Four thousandths of a second separated him from Good Reason SA and an unlikely victory.  While my dreams of being the Track magazine feature were dashed, I can sincerely state that I have never felt such pride for my family, our horses, or our accomplishments.  Sparky’s 21 seconds on the track taught me a life lesson.  In his echoed hoofbeats, I learned that backgrounds, past experiences, and social statuses do not define the direction or speed at which we choose to move forward.  Atop that lesson came another, that our 21 seconds don’t have to end in the intended winner’s circle to be deemed successful because the definition of victory can change with time.

Life is filled with 21 second moments.  Do we choose to scratch out of fear of not winning, forgetting that a 26/1 horse can upset a field of the elite?  Sparky taught me never to fear being the underdog or someone who doesn’t appear to belong.  We all are running our own 21-second races while attempting to reach our personalized winners’ circles.  Stumbles, bumps, and the occasional fear have already plagued my own 21 seconds, but I remain running in hopes of achieving my dreams because 11 years ago, I learned that 21 seconds was all one needed to hoist the trophies of life”.

 She’s amazing, that little Brooke, with some wonderful insight for such a young lady.  I adore her whole family.  Shout out to Bishop Brad, Sue, Kaylee, and Taryn. I’ve never done a shout out…that was fun!

 So, what do our 21-second moments look like? It’s crazy to think about, but the reality is, that the sum of our lives consists of a combination of a lifetime of small, short moments.  How and what we choose to do with those moments will create our stories, those that will be passed on.  Those moments will be the marks we leave, the marks we make in the world, and the influences we have on others’ lives and hearts. 

This is where I had to stop and ask myself…what marks am I making with my life? Seriously, If I were to die tomorrow, what would be left as proof that I was here? What would resonate in the lives of others, what difference would the life I lived have on the world, on my friends or family?  That’s seriously a hard question to ask. 

 And it reminded me of hearing a poem by Linda Ellis at a funeral years ago, I believe it sums up nicely what I’ve been trying to share here.  It’s called THE DASH, I’m sure you may have heard it. 

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on the tombstone

From the beginning...to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time

That they spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved them

Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars...the house...the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.

Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what's true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering this special dash

Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life's actions to rehash...

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent YOUR dash?

 What would it look like if we each wrote our eulogies right now, with all the things we wanted them to say then, and strived diligently to spend the rest of our lives living up to those things?  That seems like a recipe for a life well-lived to me! 

 Who has made their mark on me?  The obvious would be my parents whose lives have and continue to shape my own, Their influence has been a profound, safe, and loving place to learn and be loved.  My siblings, my good husband, and my children, whose lives have culminated into a very large part of who I am as a person, and definitely those grandbabies that fill my heart to overflowing, and the friends who have held my hand and loved me despite my me-ness.  There have also been many on a smaller scale whose positive influence has left its mark on me, from even the simplest things. 

 I think of my new friend Lori, who, just by living her life and smiling through her trials, impacted me.  She left a mark even after that first visit that told me we would be friends forever. 

 I think of certain Bishops, A Stake President, and one of his counselors, whose love, support, encouragement, and examples will NEVER leave me.  

 I think of the stranger at a funeral just a few days ago, that ended up not being a stranger at all.  I was so excited to see her, like I’d been missing her somehow, and she felt the same.  We literally were so happy to see one another, yet we couldn’t for the life of us, find one single solitary place our paths could have crossed.  The mark she left was the image of playing together in the pre-existence.

 So leaving a mark doesn’t have to mean leaving some grand monument of a gesture, or spending a lifetime of service, although those things can definitely make a mark.  Remember the scripture in Alma 37 vs. 6 “that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass”.

 Now this feels like a good place to be brutally honest.  Have you ever felt like sometimes even the small things, and the 21-second moments, that only last that long, can seem simply too hard?  Sometimes making others happy, when you can’t seem to muster that for yourself, feels entirely impossible.  Sometimes the only thing you can make is your bed, a mess, a microwaveable meal, or make up your mind to keep your head above water.  

 On those days when the thought of making your mark on the world has you imagining leaving a gigantic mess in the wake, and that your life and contributions don’t make the slightest difference, I want you to remember that sometimes simply making someone smile or feel loved is the biggest mark you can make.  So don’t ever underestimate your contributions to this world or to the people in it.  You may never know the differences you are making in the lives of those around you till you see the big picture from heaven, but I promise there is NO LIFE that isn’t making an impact somehow, somewhere, there is no one that isn’t leaving their mark, or I don’t believe you’d be on earth, looking for ways to do just that. 

 In her relatively new book titled Be a Good in the World: 365 Days of Good Deeds, Inspired Ideas and Acts of Kindness, best-selling author Brenda Knight explains: “At the end of life, I feel sure that having lots of money, fancy cars and real estate is not nearly as important as how much love you gave to the world.” 

 It’s a great, easy-to-read book, and within all the ideas, are 7 small ways to make a big difference in the world.  

 1)   the first was to listen to others, really listen with no judgment, no solutions, and no interruptions.  

2)   Give with no strings attached. 

3)   Use your skills for good, 

4)   Be a good neighbor.  

5)   Volunteer your time or money.  

6)   Write notes of gratitude. 

7)   Don’t forget about common courtesy.  

 With those suggestions in mind, how might we spend some of the upcoming moments in this next year, how might we live our dashes? How can we make a mark?  I’m a firm believer that what you put out into the world, comes right back to you.  So although these kindnesses are aimed at others, I guarantee you’ll be able to feel it.  And let’s be honest, is there anything better than knowing we’re making a difference?  I think not!  

 I’m reminded of one of my favorite Old Testament stories about a woman named Esther.  This faithful woman was a Jew who was urged by her cousin Mordecai to approach the king (who just happened to be her husband) and plead for the lives of her people, even though custom dictated that it could cost her life. Mordecai says in Esther 4;14 “Who knoweth whether though art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

 One person can make a huge difference, even for a nation, and I believe with my whole heart that each of us, right here, right now, has been sent to the kingdom for such a time as this.  I believe God expects us to use the gifts and talents and time and means He’s blessed us with to, as my dear mother-in-law always says, Leave things (and I include people) better than we found them. 

 So, As the screen-time numbers display how much time I’ve been on my phone again, and when I’m running crazy going a million miles an hour, but still feeling like I’m not not getting all of the truly important things done, I’ve been reminded to STOP and ask myself….What can I make of my 21-second moments, how will I spend my dash, and how can I make my mark?  

 I hope in some way, our time together can help you answer the same questions. And remember that our fingerprints will never fade from the lives we've touched.  Have a great one!